The Bidet
Part of plunging into the Spanish Culture is using the dreaded European bidet which I believe was mandatory to install in homes up until 2018.
We do love our bidet options in Asia, whether it's a simple built-in toilet fountain, a hi-tech Japanese toilet seat attachment, or a handheld shower type. My son describes the European bidet as follows: Think of a method for washing yourself after using the toilet and all the features it should have such as ease in installation, cost-effectiveness, minimized area of contamination, precision cleaning, etc., and then make it all worse...
Nevertheless, the medieval fixture has grown on me. I went through the wikiHow's and Instructables on bidet use and found that there are two main approaches: the sitting method and the straddle method. With both methods, I recommend a pre-transfer wipe to prevent peepee or caca drippage. I automatically assumed that you clean up with flowing water, but, apparently some people use the bidet as a tub and splash themselves "clean" with the pool of collected water. That to me sounds absolutely disgusting! Please don't do that unless you are looking for stinky balls or instant UTI.
The sitting method is pretty obvious, you just sit as you do on a regular toilet, turn on the faucet, and wash with soap and running water.
The straddle method to me is the best and cleanest option. You sit facing the faucet and direct the spout horizontally, turn the tap until you get a strong flow and it will clean you very nicely, front to back as OB-Gyns recommend, keeping your ladybits unsoiled. After use, I pour water into the bidet bowl to make sure it's clean and once in a while, I spritz it with diluted chlorine (leija).
My kids absolutely died when I told them this because they couldn't get over the mental image of me facing the wall to clean myself. Whatever man!
They asked for us to have a handheld shower bidet installed or to buy the even more primitive dipper (called tabo in the Philippines). These are available in some Asian bazaar stores. The dipper we found was too tiny so we instead bought a ginormous plastic graduated pitcher. The kids said they felt both scientific and environmentally-friendly whenever they would wash themselves because they can monitor their water usage. We did eventually find handheld bidets but they looked flimsy - will update this if we are able to find and install a good one.
What's your take on European bidets?
